Dear Diary Excerpt
If you’re sensitive to/triggered by reading about SA, do not read any further. Please protect your mental health/peace, my friend.
Dear Diary,
I told him no. I begged him to stop. I pleaded for him to let me go.
But my words fell on deaf ears as he feasted on my pain, savoring each and every cry and whimper.
He took and took and took, until there was no part of me left untouched, no part of me still whole, no part of me untainted by his wickedness.
There’s this deep, pounding pressure in my chest, like the bone itself is caving in and piercing right through my heart every time I think of the cruel words he hissed at me. “Your Mama’s gone and I’m a man with needs. Without her here, someone has to step up and fill them, and that someone’s you.”
I didn’t understand what he meant at first. I’ve been doing the cooking and cleaning for months now, even before Mama died. What else could he possibly need from me?
But then his hands dropped to his belt buckle and I knew—I knew exactly what he meant. I was torn between worry for myself and wondering how in the hell Mom was able to “fill his needs” when she couldn’t even get out of bed.
It was in that moment I realized how truly evil Rand was.
I tried to reason with him by telling him I was too young and that I was a v*rgin—but both of these things only seemed to excite him more. I even threatened to call the cops and he just laughed and handed me his phone and told me to have at it—that his buddies down at the station would probably enjoy the show.
He stole from me the one thing I had left and now I have nothing.
I am nothing.
Everything hurts. My heart, my soul, and body. I ache in unspeakable places, in unspeakable ways, and there’s no one who can help me. I’m all alone and at his mercy.
I can’t stay here. I can’t! But I know I need a plan to make sure once I’m out, I never have to come back.
Painfully, Nora